new friends!

Me: I took soup to a friend. She's really sick.
Him: Nice! Where did you guys meet?
Me: On Tinder.
Him: Whaaaa? You are back on Tinder?!
Me: It's the only way to meet other lesbians! I am *invisible*!
-he looks disapprovingly at his drink-
Me: Dude, I look so straight that when I am on dates with women other lesbians come over and ask my date out. True story.

It would probably help if I stopped wearing my one piece glittery bodysuit on first dates.