Sunday, September 20, 2015

thanks stranger

Recently I was walking down the street in Montreal holding my girlfriend's hand and a man in his 20's said, "You guys are a cute couple." I braced for the usual vulgar sexual invite or rude comment to follow but he didn't say anything else. It was really nice.

Friday, September 18, 2015

Diversity

Oh hey iPhone. Look at you being all culturally diverse. Good job. 

hello Friday, old friend

So gay vodka is a thing, apparently.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Gay movies that don't totally suck!

Much (I am guessing) like you I am tired of awful lesbian movies. 
So cheesy.
So baaaaaad.
So low budget.
Why the elevator sex music?

But the great news is recently I saw not one, BUT 2 really great ones!
Hurrah!

1. Sense8
OMG. This show is amazing. GO. WATCH IT RIGHT NOW. I love this inter-racial transgender couple. Booyeah! 
2. Life Partners
I think the trailer for this movie is misleading BUT I still give it mad props. I feel it touches on current lesbian culture fairly accurately. My gf told me about it and then I watched it and the whole time I was texting her like, "THIS IS SO US!" and she was like, "OMG I KNOW!" Somethings are worth text shouting and using the word "like" way waaaay too much. Adam Brody(from the O.C.) is in the movie and also Gabourey Sidibe from Precious. 
ooooOOOOoo *fun fact*: Once when I was working in the film industry I met Adam Brody and gave him a t-shirt from my clothing line. He was really sweet and shook my hand and talked with me for a bit. (I resisted the urge to bear hug him). True story. 

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Modelling

My really really ridiculously good looking big sister is modelling
in a really really ridiculously big fashion show!!! 
Proud of you sis:)

Monday, September 14, 2015

dream girl

the best part of coming out of the closet is meeting the girl of your dreams
who gives you boxes of candy
and writes stuff like this inside

thighbrows vs thigh gap

just reading about thighbrows
all the rage right now
apparently is the crease created when the thigh meets the hip which "looks like an eyebrow"
below:
my immediate reaction but replace "fetch" with "thighbrow"
kidding.
(sort of)
but I bring this up not because I give a single flying monkey about thighbrows BUT because a lot of articles seem to be slamming thin bodies while explaining the thighbrow and I would just like to point out that healthy bodies come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some people are just naturally thin(b*tches) (joooooking) and it's not their fault they can push their shoulder blades up and use the holes for catching rain when they are thirsty. I mean, that's just pure talent.
Anyways, body positivity people. 
Seriously. 

Accidentally going to the Dr in "the hood"

-driving-

Me: ....whoah.....this area is kind of rough hey?
My girlfriend: Yeah I noticed too....do you want to go a different clinic?
-I swallow and wince because it feels like someone is stabbing me in the esophagus. I look at her phone GPS and see we are almost there-
Me: Uhmm, it's ok babe. I'm sure it will be fine

-the chairs in the waiting room are ripped and loud 90's Eminem blares from reception. A burly unamused security guard paces between the pharmacy and the waiting area. My gf and I exchange the "WTF?! look" and we take a seat in the waiting area. Gun shots fire out from the CD player. When the Dr calls us in I see behind the door is completely smashed. His desk is messy and cluttered-

-The Dr writes out my prescription-
Him: Do you want something for the pain?
Me: No thank you, I have Tylenol.
Him(confused):.....but do want something stronger?
Me(confused): ....no. I have Tylenol.....
-he looks at my gf and then me and then my gf and then me-
Him: What are you two doing here?!
-we both laugh-
Me:......I'm sick.......
Him: This is a really bad neighbourhood(he shakes his head). Terrible.
-we nod in agreement-
Him: Most people who come here....they want drugs.....pain killers......you guys.....you....come back anytime, ok?

Lost cucumber hahaha

Thursday, September 10, 2015

new cat shirt

Got strep throat.
But then my gf got me this hilarious cute shirt to cheer me up.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Lesbian Guide To Winnipeg

I know I know
Mosquitos.
-50 weather
people stabbing each other with bottles for no particular reason


I'm here to tell you there is more actually. Lots of nice stuff. 
And gay stuff. 
No, like actual gay stuff. LGBTQ stuff. 
I'll show you where!
1. Fame
Let's start with the most obvious, Fame! A place where you will do shots of tequila, forget where you live, and inevitably wake up with your wrist stamp on your forehead and someone's number in your purse.
2. Stella's on Sherbrook
If you are gay and you live in the Peg this is most likely your brunch hangout. Get the Mexican breakfast with chorizo sausage. Disappointed you shall not be!
3. Club 200
There are lots of QPOC events held here. QPOC stands for queer people of colour. Club 200 is predominately male but the lesbian events are a good time.
4. QPOC
As I mentioned above QPOC stands for queer people of colour. I bring it up again because you should definitely check out their organization and see what they are about. They host all the best lesbian events in town.
5. Peasant Cookery
If you find a hot lady and you want to buy her a fancy drink bring her here and impress her with your good taste. Nice atmosphere. Great wine. Yummy food. Awesome patio in the summer!
6. Across The Board
If you are of the nerdy variety or just of the non-fun-police variety you will surely enjoy this establishment! The walls are full of board games from all around the world.
7. Gay Pride Weekend
Winnipeg has a legit gay pride parade. It is usually held at Forks which is a big park by the Museum Of Human Rights(also cool).

Sunday, September 6, 2015

banana suit

-house party-

Me: Oh no!!! I forgot the banana suit!
Him: Oh ya! Noooo!
His friend: What?
Him: I have a banana suit and Brandy thought it would be funny to wear it to meet you guys for the first time
His friend: If I die before any of you I want one of you to wear a banana suit to my funeral

the important stuff

My phone is always running out of storage space.
But I only delete photos from before I met you.
I don't want to forget anything since that day. 

the one

Me: Do you believe in "the one"?
Him: .....there was this girl, when I was a schoolboy
Me: Did you date? Did she know how you felt?
Him: Oh no. I was too shy. But I know she was the one. 
Me: You should contact her!
Him: No....she's all I have. I hold onto that.

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Support Peri Best

A special family friend Peri lost her entire home in the Rock Creek fire in August.
Any way you can help her would mean a lot.
Thanks guys and please help to spread the word.

Here is the link to her fundraiser:

best surprise ever!!!!!

my girlfriend surprised me by showing up in Montreal!!!!

wtf

....am I the only one noticing the obscene rainbow placement on these socks?!

the Bettie-Boopster

Helping me unpack. 
And by unpack I mean drink wine.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Last day in Montreal

In a teeny tiny tiny French cafe in Mile End. 
Louis Armstrong is playing. Drinking a black Americano. 
The whole place smells like honey and melted butter. Lots of families walking big fluffy dogs and a little girl in pigtails and a black striped dress came in with her Mom and bought a baguette. 
Also, two women on vintage bicycles are making out outside the window where I'm sitting.

Love this city.