Grand lettuce theft

Dear lady casually grazing on lettuce in the organic fresh produce section of the health food store,

How many years in prison do you get for grand lettuce theft? Is this your first felony? Did you steal the golden beet last time?

Ciao,
Brandy

(P.s. I wish you had looked this satisfied)

(Also, I wish you had been wearing a cat sweater like this)

(....there's always tomorrow)