Piece Of My Heart

-the inimitable woman in the high waisted skirt 

sings "take another little piece of my heart now baby" in a smokey purr-

Him(wobbly, drunk, thick beard): Youuuur faux name will be.....Beatrice!
Me: No! Beatrice never gets a girlfriend!(I digress)...or a boyfriend
-he turns to my friend-
Him(wide eyed like a cat with a goldfish in it's mouth): She wants a girlfriend!
My friend(casually, without missing a beat): She likes girls.

This has gotten so much easier than it used to be.