Lesbian Santa Letter

Dear Santa,

I have been good....pretty good this year. I have not run over any little old ladies, I eat my collard greens(.....is kale a collard green.....what are collard greens?!), and always have protected(ish) sex.
So! Since you are so busy I made this handy shopping list for you (I'm so considerate!)

Need:
1. Someone to clean my shower
2. Expensive shoes....ok fine this isn't a "need"

3. Plane ticket to LA. No, for real. I need this.

(below: what I will be doing there)

Want: 
1. Sexy girlfriend/partner to see 3-4 times a week

( OMGAWD look how cute we are!!! so in love)

2. We will (obviously) need a U-haul booked approximately 4-5 weeks after meeting so we can live together

(yay!)

3. If we could move straight into a home outfitted exactly like Anthroplogie that would be great!

Hope I'm not asking too much. By the way, that beard looks hot on you.
You were so hipster before the hipsters.

muah
Brandy