Eat Your Dog

-waiting to cross at a red light with my dog-
*I recognize 2 of the local homeless guys approaching behind me*
Homeless guy #1: Can you spare some change?
Random pedestrian: No, sorry
Homeless guy #2: It's so cold and no one gives a f***!
Homeless guy #1: Hey, can I eat your dog?

Dude, for real I was going to buy you pizza.

But now I'm going to buy pepper spray.