My Grown-Ass-Woman Lesbian Breakup

The following evidence seems to be pointing me in the direction of being a fully functional adult

or

as some would say, "Being a grown-ass-woman"

(hides stick-on earrings behind back and nods in agreement with shifty eyes)

I just had what can most easily be described as the most amiable "breakup" of my entire life.
(and I'm pretty sure we are legit going to still be friends)

               ......quotation marks because it's complicated.
Like it always is, amiright?

But not "complicated" like that time I broke up with that guy 

and he broke into my place through the kitchen window 

and then stole my ID and then said it ended up in his jeans "by accident" (WTF?!) AND THEN drove around the dog park for hours car-stalking me. 

Not like that.